


didn't mean to make you cry

by colazitron



Series: 2019 December Holiday Fic Countdown [4]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode Tag, Fights, M/M, Making Up, set during s4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21672997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colazitron/pseuds/colazitron
Summary: Isak and Even after things get physical at the karaoke bar.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Series: 2019 December Holiday Fic Countdown [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559638
Comments: 26
Kudos: 314





	didn't mean to make you cry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nofeartina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nofeartina/gifts).



> **A/N:** I struggled for a few hours with 'how do I make sense of that fight??' but then realised that I didn't _have to_ to show the aftermath of it, so here we are.
> 
> This one's for Tina, who wanted Isak and Even dealing with the aftermath of their first fight.

The flat is quiet.

There's the very soft hum of the fridge that Isak can hear when he strains for it. The occasional sound of tyres over asphalt outside when a lonely car drives by. The sounds Even makes in his sleep.

He's right there beside Isak in their bed, but it still feels like he's a world away. Like there's a chasm between them where there's really only the sheets Even keeps disturbing every time he moves, which is a little too often.

It can't be a good sleep. His face is pinched in a frown even in sleep and his breathing never quite reaches that truly relaxed pattern Isak has come to know.

Isak wishes he could take the stress away, and any other day he might reach out to smooth his hand over Even's hair, see if that doesn't help, but tonight it feels too risky. His heart is still fluttering in his chest like a caged bird throwing itself against the bars and if Even wakes up…

At least one of them should be able to get some sleep, some _rest_ , but Isak can't help here.

The pain killers have worn off too, his nose feeling fragile and tender, his whole face a little puffy. It doesn't really help with Isak's whole unable-to-sleep issue.

Even is definitely right about how stupid it was to get physical.

Isak didn't even really mean to. He'd gotten caught up in the look on Even's face, in the way he'd shied away from Mikael and his friends. Isak had recognised him immediately and told himself he'd hang back and let Even take the lead, but then it hadn't just been upset or worry spelled out over Even's handsome features, it had been fear. Even had been afraid and Mikael had pushed closer, reached out to him and Isak had gotten in between them before he'd really thought it through. He never meant to push, definitely didn't mean for his fist to connect with Mikael's face – but it had. Clumsy though the accidental punch was, it had connected. So he can't really blame his friend for reacting to that and decking him back, but now it's all such a mess.

He reaches up to rub a hand over his face and hisses quietly when he bumps into his injured nose. Fuck, he was just thinking about that! How did he forget it was hurt between one second and the next?

Even tosses and turns next to him, trying and failing to get comfortable in his sleep and Isak swallows against the lump in his throat and the hot sting in his eyes.

Even's never been so angry at him, never accused him of not letting Even make his own decisions. And that's not at all what Isak was trying to do, it was just-- weeks of Even being strange and cagey, the way he and Sana _clearly_ shared some sort of secret and tried to keep him out of it, it all came to a head.

Isak really tried to stay out of it. If Even didn't want him to know, he knew he should have respected that, but the realisation that Even was still hiding parts of himself _hurt_ _._ They lived together for heaven's sake. They'd spent so much time last winter talking about how important it was that they _talk_ to each other, involve each other in the decisions they make. To give them a fair chance. To not hide from each other.

But Isak's no saint, and realising that Even wasn't just keeping secrets but specifically secrets _from him_ rattled him. He still doesn't really understand why Even did what he did, why he didn't just tell Isak the whole story – about Mikael and his first episode. So when he'd seen him, and seen Even's expression, all the frustration and worry and even some anger had found a new target faster than Isak could really keep up with himself and now here they are. Bruised noses and bruised hearts and all.

It feels a bit like Even doesn't really trust him, doesn't really trust that Isak loves him, and Isak doesn't know what to do about that.

“Isak?” Even mumbles, voice tired.

Isak wipes surreptitiously at the corners of his eyes, hopes the room is dark enough that Even can't make it out.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, I don't think so,” Even says, voice still rough with sleep. “Can't sleep?”

Isak makes a quiet noise in confirmation and then turns over to look at Even. He's got a strand of hair hanging down into his face that must be tickling right between his eyes. Isak's itching to brush it away for him, but he knots his fingers together instead under the duvet.

Even sighs heavily.

“Me either,” he says. “Not really. I keep dipping in and out.”

“I'm sorry,” Isak repeats, and Even gives him a tired smile.

“It's not your fault.”

Isak's toes curl along with an uncomfortable heat pulling tight in his gut. He bites his lip and looks away for a moment before meeting Even's eyes again in the dark.

“Isn't it?”

Even sighs again. “No. I think we both messed this up.”

Isak sighs too and turns his head again so he's staring up at their ceiling.

“Does your nose hurt?” Even asks after the silence stretches between them, thinner and thinner until it feels like the gossamer threads of a spiderweb, covering their entire flat. When Even speaks, Isak can feel the threads of the web vibrate, like they all come together right in his chest, but they don't break.

“A little. It's fine.”

“Want me to get you some pain killers?” Even offers, and then does the unthinkable and reaches out to run gentle fingers through Isak's hair.

Isak squeezes his eyes shut and sighs, feeling his whole body go slack.

“No. Stay,” Isak says, hears the way his own voice comes out thin and fragile.

Even makes a small sound, something cooing and soothing and then shuffles closer, close enough that Isak can feel the warmth of his body and the cracks in his dry lips when he presses a sweet kiss to Isak's forehead. His fingers still run through Isak's hair.

“I'm not going anywhere,” Even promises.

“I'm sorry,” Isak says for the third time, and untangles his hands so he can grab hold of Even's t-shirt with one of them instead. “I didn't mean to--”

“I know,” Even cuts him off and kisses him again, breath warm against Isak's hair line when he doesn't move away. “I'm sorry too, baby. You were right, I should have trusted you more.”

“No, I shouldn't have--” Isak tries to protest, but Even shushes him.

“Tomorrow, okay? We'll work it out tomorrow,” Even says. He moves a little to get more comfortable, but stays where he is, settled against Isak's side.

Isak unfurls his fingers, but lets his hand rest on Even's chest, feeling his warmth through the fabric.

“I love you,” he says, because it feels like he hasn't said it in years, even though he's certain he's said it only earlier today.

“I love you too,” Even answers.

Isak smiles and exhales a deep sigh, feeling the spiderweb break from his chest, letting him breathe again. Even's fingers still in his hair eventually as he gets closer to sleep again. Occasionally a car passes by under their window, and the fridge still hums, but Isak doesn't hear it.

The flat is quiet.

  
  


**The End**


End file.
